Mental Health is based in reality

The truth shall set you free.

Our Mental Health is based in reality. If we are suffering depression, for example, we may have issues from the past, decades back perhaps, that are still causing us grief today. In no way is that todays reality. Aside from the fact that 30 percent or more of our childhood memories are wrong, incoherent or have been altered by our own thinking, dreaming and feeling over the years. The other 70 percent was still subjective. That is it was experienced through our own perceptions, which are different for everyone.

Studies of how one of two twins, both abused by uncaring parents, grow up in two different directions. One becomes successful, has kids and a loving, long term relationship, with a degree in accounting, while the other becomes codependent with no loving relationships, successes or apparent achievements. One has emotional and intellectual intelligence above average while the other falls dismally short of EQ. Yet, the two experienced the same homes, abuses and environments?

Although it’s complicated as to why two people in the same social environments can differ so much. Perception and our beliefs about emotions can effect our mental health hectically over the years. Any therapy out there wants to get you to the truth. To the reality of the situations you’ve experienced. Therapy will allow you to process old traumas and hurts and put them into the category of necessary past experience. This truth will allow you to move on, present in your daily reality, where you can build a better life from this place of healing, of realising your life is good now, can be good now, despite of your past. Mental Health is based in reality.

Byron Katie is a great teacher when it comes to letting us know how the truth sets us free and how Mental Health is based in reality. An excerpt of her work and her ideas is below. Food for thought! Because as she says “reality is always kind”. It is only what we believe about our realities that is a problem. “So as Einstein says, we must questions everything, find the truth and then be set free”, says Mark Lockwood of Center for Healing and Life Transformation. “We must come to understand that of we are suffering, our thinking can be changed, changed so that we can grow and experience life properly, so that we can live a good life no matter what our previous circumstances and experiences…we are capable of letting go and starting anew, again and again, this is the beauty of truth and life itself”.

What Is the Truth

The only time we suffer is when we believe a thought that argues with what is. When the mind is perfectly clear, what is is what we want. If you want reality to be different than it is, you might as well try to teach a cat to bark. You can try and try, and in the end the cat will look up at you and say, “Meow.” Wanting reality to be different than it is is hopeless.

And yet, if you pay attention, you’ll notice that you believe thoughts like this dozens of times a day. “People should be kinder.” “Children should be well-behaved.” “My husband (or wife) should agree with me.” “I should be thinner (or prettier or more successful).” These thoughts are ways of wanting reality to be different than it is. If you think that this sounds depressing, you’re right. All the stress that we feel is caused by arguing with what is.

People new to The Work by Byron Katie, often say, “But it would be disempowering to stop my argument with reality. If I simply accept reality, I’ll become passive. I may even lose the desire to act.” I answer them with a question: “Can you really know that that’s true?” Which is more empowering?—“I wish I hadn’t lost my job” or “I lost my job; what intelligent solutions can I find right now?”

The Work reveals that what you think shouldn’t have happened should have happened. It should have happened because it did happen, and no thinking in the world can change it. This doesn’t mean that you condone it or approve of it. It just means that
you can see things without resistance and without the confusion of your inner struggle.

No one wants their children to get sick, no one wants to be in a caraccident; but when these things happen, how can it be helpful to mentally argue with them? We know betterthan to do that, yet we do it, because we don’t know how to stop.

I am a lover of what is, not because I’m a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. We can know that reality is good just as it is, because when we argue with it, we experience tension andfrustration. We don’t feel natural or balanced. When we stop opposing reality, action becomes simple, fluid, kind, and fearless.

Staying in Your Own Business

I can find only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours, and God’s. (For me, the word God means “reality.” Reality is God, because it rules. Anything that’s out of my control, your control, and everyone else’s control—I call that God’s business.)

Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our own business. When I think, “You need to get a job, I want you to be happy, you should be on time, you need to take better care of yourself,” I am in your business. When I’m worried about earthquakes, floods, war, or when I will die, I am in God’s business. If I am mentally in your business or in God’s business, the effect is separation. I noticed this early in 1986. When I mentally went into my mother’s business, for example, with a thought like “My mother should understand me,” I immediately experienced a feeling of loneliness.

Depression and wellness Rehabilitation Center

I realized that every time in my life that I had felt hurt or lonely, I had been in someone else’s business.

If you are living your life and I am mentally living your life, who is here living mine? We’re both over there. Mental Health is based in reality and this is a good thing. Life is good.

For more information on Byron Katie’s work or more about how Mental Health is based in reality get in touch. We would love to have you heal stress, anxiety and depression at our Center for Healing and Life Transformation. or call +27824424779

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