8 characteristics of Narcissistic Families


1. Honesty. Nothing works better at healing this and almost all other negative family systems models. Just don’t keep secretes betwixt and between, spoken or unspoken. Speak up and speak honestly. Nothing will develop more healthy mechanisms, rules and roles than this.

2. Forget the family image. Just settle on a normative and honest image. Don’t fake it.

3. Be open and communicate properly. Keeping secrets keeps families sick.

4. Don’t triangulate. Parents must be parents and siblings and kids must be what they are. Don’t make them what they are not, even if they are willing to play mom or day, it doesn’t work. Create clear boundaries and decent family hierarchies, that are open and positive.

5. Don’t play the blame game. Be quick to forgive and move on. Each day anew is sunshine for the soul. 6. All family members need permission to fail, permission to succeed, to be, to grow and learn.

7. Seek a spiritual path and follow spiritual principles. When healing starts these principles will already be in place. 8 characteristics of Narcissistic Families can be healed, through differentiation therapy, or it is likely to stay on long.

8. Flexible families flourish. Don’t minimize the rigid, authoritarian parent. It is known to be the most damaging kind of parent there is on the planet. Yes, it is even worse than a parent who ignores the child and let’s them do what they want. We meet so many people in therapy who are over policed and over parented by authoritarians. It can create the worst kind of trouble for the child and the family. Authoritarian or Narcissistic? You decide on definitions as they apply to your family.


Seven dysfunctional character roles families play:

The Hero, Golden Child or Conformer, The Scapegoat, The Mascot or Jester, The Enabler, Rescuer or Orbiting Parent, The Victim, The Lost Child The Narcissist, Bully or Persecutor.

See more about these dysfunctional character roles families play here:


In simple terms, a narcissistic family is one in which the needs of the parents are the focus and the children are expected in various ways to meet those needs. The healthy family model is turned on its head to support the parents rather than foster the children’s development.

As in the other 8 characteristics of Narcissistic Families, there is abuse and corresponding denial of the abuse. There is also secrecy, neglect, unrealistic expectations, an impoverishment of empathy, disrespect for boundaries, and ongoing conflict.

From the inside and picture perfect from the outside. As a member of the family (narcissists excluded), there is a constant state of walking on eggshells, questioning what did or did not happen, and minimizing personal feelings while elevating the narcissist’s feelings. From the outside looking in, the family seems to function perfectly in-tune and any hint of the issue is immediately discounted. The extreme divide between the two existences is rarely addressed and almost always is denied.

This leaves the family in a continual state of uncertainty, insecurity, depression, and fear. But the narcissist won’t hear of any such negativity and most definitely won’t accept any responsibility for the issues. Any attempt to reach an outsider is quickly met with further alienation from the narcissist, accusations of betrayal, or gaslighting. So what can a person in such a family do? It must begin by taking off the narcissistic colored glasses and seeing things the way they really are.

For help with depression, stress, personality disorders and the 8 characteristics of Narcissistic Families call +27824424779. We are open and healing people for good! Now is your time to heal, grow, renew and enrich your life.


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