Your personality is a story.

Who are you without your story? How would you feel if you did not think about the things that hurt you, that have caused you so much pain and trauma in life? Healing really comes when we accept the past, just as it was, and somehow learn to move on with a new frame of personal and worldly reference to work from. 

When people drop their stories, they also drop the low self esteem. More accurately perhaps, they rise above it. Transformation is all about rising above your personality. Introverts can become extroverts, we’ve seen it happen again and again. How often have people had a near death experience, or an accident or suffered some tragedy that instantly changes their lives. Deep emotional shifts can and do happen in an instant. 

If we are believing a story line, such as life has given me lemons and always will, or I am destined to never change, to work in an office all my life, or stay in a marriage I hate for the sake of the kids. These are all stories that many people have had to wake to, to effect real change in their lives. We more often than not, don’t know what our story lines are. They have become so engrained and entrenched in us, that we literally run in habitual auto-pilot. 

We all have a story and we’re all great story tellers. Your personality is a story.

You might consider yours a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ story, you might say it’s been mostly joyful or tragic. You might feel it’s been exciting and eventful or maybe not so much…

Either way, you have one, and you identify with it. You think this is who you are – the accumulation of these tales you tell yourself and others.

You recreate them in your imagination to organise a logical connection in time between your past and present circumstances.

Stories change and so do people. Can you cage your personality? Think deeply, because we believe the answer is a resounding yes. You can have an obsessive personality type, you can not like social situations or adventure. You may shy away from crowds or suffer anxiety. You may have coped with depression all your life, as so many people do. But these things, can all be dropped off and discarded. You CAN heal your life. We know this because we see it happen every day at our Center for Healing. Your personality is a story.

The worst part of dealing with mental health issues is the fact that people wait for a rock-bottowe before they get help. They do more preventative maintenance on their cars than themselves! It is a shame that we are like this. We spend little or no time or money on mental health. Many psychologists remark how people who have suffered decades of depression expect to be healed in a single session or two. Others expect mental health help for free…it is just they way we are hard-wired. One of the busiest drug rehab centres in South Africa, says they field almost 100 calls a day from people expecting free or government treatment for themselves or their children. Some are very wealthy people. Children who they put through private schools, with the best sports equipment and high monthly allowances. Yet, not a cent on mental health until “the crash of bottom”. Bottoming out is a self esteem issue amongst other things. The point is, that until we realise what’s most important in life, most valuable, we will not take care of those things first. 

Personality can change. The once accepted idea that an individual’s personality is set in stone is, well, changing. “You read about this twin research where these people who have been raised apart have remarkable similarities,” said Carol Dweck, a psychologist at Stanford University. “They married women with the same name; they named their dog the same thing; they both build little ships that fit into a bottle and they show up to their reunion wearing almost identical clothing.” She added, “The implication there is that it’s all programmed in,” that personality is permanently stamped into our genes. The static-character research is typically based on a definition of personality comprising five features, called the five-factor model, including openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness and neuroticism. While these factors are important to a person’s character, Dweck argues they aren’t the definitive word, and results generated from the model could be missing subtle, yet critical, aspects of personality.

for more help on understanding how your personality is a story and our depression centre call 0824424779 or email

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