If we want to understand 12 ways Self Love heals Depression then we need to look at it from a body, heart and brain perspective. Depression is oftentimes created over years by the way we think, feel and perceive the world, certain people, situations and events in our lives. Negativity itself can be a factor that creates depression from a response we make on things. If we don’t work on regulating our moods, if we don’t work on sleep which in turn effects our mood regulation or if we indulge in negative gossip and conversation stress levels can rise along with symptoms of depression. Then of course how we respond to adverse life events such as losing a job, bereavement, traumatic events or being cheated on in a relationship are more likely to develop depression. Yes we can make depression happen. Of course we can and do today more than ever before. When our need to be perfect in the pursuit of riches and happiness is so high, our self esteem plummets into the abyss.
Biological factors such as puberty, pregnancy or menopause play a part that may be largely out of our control but what we want you to know is that a lot of how we treat depression is in your control. Decreased brain activity in the hippocampus was reported in depressive patients. Reduced grey matter volume and reduced functional activity in the hippocampus would lead to negative emotion and the inability of cognitive processing in depressive patients. What is significant is that we can increase grey matter in certain parts of the brain and decrease it in others by working on ourselves. That makes us in large part both capable and responsible for how we heal things that effect us like depression, burnout and mood or personality issues. Neglect sleep and your mood will drop. Do that over time and the effects become obvious and we could go on and on about self care and the consequences of it.
Clinical depression, also known as major depression, is an illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts. Don’t rule out how feeling low, despondent, unmotivated or flat also is affected by your body, mood and thoughts. When we don’t practice managing these things over time we get an effect form the cause.
Self love is the antidote for depression which is a state perpetuated by our incessant needs for control that are eventually turned inwards on ourselves.
Mark L Lockwood
In other words if you have issues with sleep, then fix them. Work on them and try and find solutions. If you have issues with weight gain, anger, feelings of worthlessness, self-blame, inadequacy or just negative thinking in general then you should fix them. They lead to depression and moods that resemble depression and they can be hell to live with. We tend to see people try to rather ignore, hide, suppress or minimise these issues which is not a very wise thing to do. Rather do the work on these issues sooner rather than later or they will open portholes to doorways in the darkness of the mind that you don’t want to explore.
For many people with depression, symptoms usually are severe enough to cause noticeable problems in day-to-day activities, such as work, school, social activities or relationships with others. Some people may feel generally miserable or unhappy without really knowing why. Our job then is to know why and we can do that through therapy and by recovering a sense of self love despite the depressive emotions we may be experiencing. Many psychology studies attest, self-love and -compassion are key for mental health and well-being, keeping depression and anxiety at bay. Love, connection, and acceptance are powerful antidotes to depressive states that almost no one even understands are available to them.
RECOVERING A SENSE OF SELF LOVE
A person who is stuck in a fight, flight or freeze responsive state for extended periods of time is opening themselves up to catastrophe. Depression is a chronic feeling of emptiness, sadness, or inability to feel pleasure that may appear to happen for no clear reason. It is distinct from grief and other emotions. It is very difficult to diagnose and people with sad lives they cannot bear may not be depressed as much as they simply just hate the life they have created. The terms we use for these things need to be examined carefully and holistically.
Self love and self kindness are about how we can treat ourselves with forgiveness, empathy and understanding or how we can choose not to do those things. Rather we can choose to belittle and berate ourselves habitually all day long. We need to drop our issues with control and perfectionism if we are to acknowledge that nobody’s perfect, including ourselves. The avoidance of over identification with painful emotions takes work and self – compassion to begin. We will either be warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than flagellating ourselves with self-criticism. One leads to loneliness and depression while the other fends it off. Self-love and depression don’t naturally go together because when you have depression, it’s hard to love yourself. You will need to know that it will take some hard work, especially to get things started and moving in the right direction.
Being kind to yourself in the midst of hard times creates positive change. We can use mindfulness exercises, meditation, contemplation and even mindful walking to heal ourselves as we start to intentionally turn our lives around. It doesn’t need to be rocket science but it does need to be persistent. Self-love is the act of valuing your own well-being and overall happiness. It is an acceptance of unconditional support and caring for yourself. Acts of self-love come directly from our own willingness to meet our personal needs. These needs can be simple, like making food when we don’t feel like eating, showering when we don’t feel like even getting out of bed. Mark always reminds people to learn techniques to work on yourself and take command of the mother ship before your body becomes habituated with experiencing stress as something that is just there, and something that we don’t have to manage.
12 ways Self Love heals Depression:
- Your inner critic – replace this harsh inner voice with a kinder one
- Relearn pleasure versus doing things that harm the self and practice these things everyday.
- Eat, drink and react mindfully to everything and everyone. Mindfulness is a verb not an idea.
- Focus on Need – Accept what you need rather than what you think you want. Self-love is practiced by turning away from what may feel exciting and good to focus on what you need to stay centred, strong, and moving forward in your life. By focusing on what you need, you turn away from automatic behaviours that get you into trouble and keep you stuck in the past.
- Always be mindful of how to react to things and do so with loving kindness whenever you can
- Be quick to forgive yourself. To err daily is human. Phrases like “I can’t do anything right,” “I’m not good at anything,” I am so stupid.” need to go. So let them go.
- Become your own best ally rather than your own worst enemy. The war in your head belongs on paper. Write, write and write some more. The truth will set you free from depression and all things like it.
- Explore the relationship with yourself everyday. Fall in love with yourself over and over again. You’re soul mates after all.
- Discover where your feelings of lack of self worth originated. Then move into the present moment and let go of all ideas of control! Let go and move forwards. Crawl there if you have to, but get as far away from the familiar past as you possibly can, especially if it is creating a nightmare that keeps repeating itself day after day and year after year. Let go.
- Create solid personal boundaries. Only do people, places, things and conversations that nourish your soul.
- Healthy relationships with others start with you. So do healthy careers, opportunities and friendships. Prioritise starting with your inner self and then work outwards.
- Nourish the body by spending time outdoors, by seeing new things. Then nourish the mind with books and podcasts that heal and help you grow. Then, and only then, will you be able to nourish your soul.
YOU’RE THE TRUE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE
Pain cannot be healed by hating yourself; it can only ever be healed by loving yourself. Self-hate feeds depressive states and is like quicksand: When you struggle, it just causes you to sink deeper and deeper until you cannot breathe. But if you stop struggling, you can set yourself free. Self-love, then, is not a destination we need to struggle to get to, but rather a state of being that is available to us in each new moment. We simply need to let it in. Allow it.
Depression makes it difficult to practice self-love, particularly on the darkest of days. When a seemingly simple activity such as getting out of bed is overwhelming, it is hard to think about practicing self-love; however, by doing small things to show ourselves love, nourishing our minds and bodies can be done.
Each moment you take one step forward with self love is a brand-new moment, and you are a brand-new you. Be gentle with yourself. You are a precious piece of this world. This world could not be complete without you. You are priceless not because of what you do; you are priceless because you exist. You don’t know it yet, but with time you will come to know that you are, in fact, the love of your life.
The 10 Pathways back to Sacred Self
The Paradigm Process is a method of healing we teach at Center for Healing and Life Transformation in South Africa. It is a private depression clinic or mental health wellness centre We help people go on a personal journey of healing everything from mental and behavioural health issues to food disorders, anxiety and depression issues.
The Paradigm process is designed to help you shift from the first half of your life to the second half. From your lower half to your higher-self half. It shifts the body-heart-mind (the various parts of who you are) out of survival mind and into thrive mind. These parts of the brain are located at opposite ends of your head. Survival at the back and Thrive at the front. It takes clients suffering depression, stress and all sorts of mood and personality issues back to a place of healing, growth and personal transformation. To work the program or for more information about the 12 ways Self Love heals Depression call +27824424779 or email sanctuaryplett@gmail.com
Depression and Wellness Center 